I gathered you all here to talk about necrophilia, whether you want to or not. This term refers to someone who makes love with a corpse. Or someone who makes love with the dead. The one thing about that statement that makes no sense is the phrase ‘makes love’. There is no love-making involved in this at all. It’s basically a dude going to the graveyard at night with a shovel and a hard on, and a torch, I suppose. I doubt they would do this on a full moon. Too cliché, if you ask me, but maybe the heart wants what the heart wants.
Apparently, the people that do this have reached the point of ultimate desperation. They have tried to find a woman, have paid hookers and nothing has worked, or they have run out of money. So, what do you do when all of the above fail? You get yourself a shovel, look on a map for cemeteries, grab a torch and head out for the night. Literally.
These people have struck out with everyone. Even dogs and cats hate them. I feel sorry for any dogs and cats that have gone through this. There should be a support service for our beloved animal friends. Veterinary counsellors? Is there such a thing? Can I become one?
So, they 'get their thang on' with a dead person. Isn’t that like trying to start your car with a dead battery? Self-satisfaction, anyone?
I dunno, I just see this as plain wrong. Firstly there is a lot of effort involved in getting this show on the road. Digging up a date just seems like a bad thing to start with and then there’s breaking open the coffin and what if it’s someone you don’t like? What do you do? Re-bury her? What if it’s a cold night? There are many things to consider here, and I might add, quite a bit of research. I’ve never been on a date where so much planning goes into it. What if you get caught? What’s the security dude going to say? “Disengage from that corpse, dude! Pull up your pants. Slowly.”
I think I would be a little more liberal. Let the dude finish his business. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s not like she’s going to care, is it? I’m getting the feeling that maybe I should shut up. There’s much more I want to say and could go on and on and on, but I won’t. Even I’m beginning to get a bit grossed out and that’s saying something.
I’m sure many of you have left before finishing the blog, but for those who are still with us, I congratulate you! We’re here at the end! It’s a good place to be isn’t it?
Next time I’m going to insult bus drivers. You don’t want to miss that. Hopefully those who left will return! That would be cool also.
As always, check out the site and Duckman’s blog. He is a little more ‘restrained’ than I am. That is just as well. Someone around here has to be on the ball.