Well, anyway, let’s get down to business! I have a few things to discuss. As usual, I will rant and then you have the opportunity to respond. It’s a simple procedure, folks.
I saw a meme the other day that showed a couple giving each other hi-five after a round of sex. I thought that was awesome. I am a big hi-five dude and enjoy giving and receiving all kinds of hi-fives. The idea of giving this awesome physical greeting after sex is an idea that appeals to me greatly. You finish your business and hi-five your girl or guy for…erm, a job well done? Yes, that’s do-able. I’m sure there are couples that do that. Surely there is someone somewhere that is actually doing this. I need to get me one of these. Really.
The hardest part would be getting someone to respond to your need for 80’s nostalgia. Back in the 80’s, everyone was hi-fiving everyone else. Rockstars, politicians, pornstars, yup. Everyone was doing it and it was cool. Now hi-fives have become rather uncool and the only people doing them is me and the American president. Being the Pres, you don’t have to worry about being cool. You put your hand up, no one is going to deny you. These people work for you! But I believe he’d have more difficulty in getting that hi-five in the bedroom. The bedroom is a totally different ballgame isn’t it? The rules are different in there and every man knows that. Calling out for a hi-five is like jumping out of a plane with a Russian-made parachute. If it works, great, but there is always the chance that the thing might not work. You know what Russian engineering is like. If I have offended any Russians, please feel free to have some more vodka and pass out on the floor as I continue the rant.
If you're on the fourth date and have finally been give the almighty pass to the bedroom, only a fool would go for the hi-five finishing manuevre. Nothing would be worse that putting one great, big, sweaty palm up and she gives you the look that says, "Are you for real?" Then she’s getting her clothes on and walking out the door faster than Goofy as he hears Mickey pulling into the driveway. You can only pull the hi-five thing after a long time. Long after the "Do not stop, do not collect $200, proceed directly to jail." You need to be in a position where the woman or man you’re with has no choice but to put up with your flaws. Then you are in a position to play this card and possibly get away with it. Either that or find a really eccentric girl or crazy. Yes, crazy can work, but keep a gun close at hand.
If you think I’m going to pull out the bathroom shooting gags, you can think again.
I was going to talk about so much more, but it appears I’ve run out of time, or space. I forget which. Most of what I’ve said here is pointless drivel, but hopefully it brought some joy to your lives for but a moment. One day I’ll get the sex hi-five and it will be awesome, but until then I can dream and wish and plan for that epic moment in time.
Check out the site and see what we got for you guys, we have more stuff on the way. Duckman continues to write and post blogs on his part of the site, so check that out. We have audio material coming for over the Summer period (That’s southern hemisphere. You northerners are heading towards Winter. Sorry, I have no sympathy for you guys). Anyway, that’s me done and dusted. Goodnight and to everyone… *hi-five*