What actual qualifications do you need to be a bus driver anyway? A driver’s licence? The ability to stop the bus when someone rings the bell? To drive around for about eight hours? That seems like a real hard job.
Wouldn’t it be really cool if there were actual space cowboys? With actual cowboys living in space. With sheep, cows and, erm, pigs. Yup, pigs in space. Lasso yourself a space cow! I guess riding horses on the moon could be interesting. You would be more flying than anything else. The duke would’ve been awesome in space. The rustlers who would be stealing his horses would be floating away with his herd and he’d be like, “Not today, son.” Pulls out his gravitational inversion gun and, well, I dunno. I made that up because I wanted to sound cool in front of you all. Might be difficult to hang some for cattle rustling in space. You’d pull the platform away and they just float up. The duke would be like, “Ah, shoot! That’s not going to work. Hey, Bill, hand me my beating stick. I’m going to have to do this the hard way.”
I was running the other day and I saw a sign from a politician that thanked the electorate for voting for him. There was one problem with that. He actually didn’t win the seat or the election. Really, I’m being serious. The dude lost the election and puts up big signs thanking people for voting for him! That’s like losing a football match and going on a victory lap around the park. It was very weird, but I suppose he wanted to thank people, the minority who actually voted for him.
On a completely different note, I was thinking how awesome it would be if I was a spy. With a gun and a horse. Yes, you heard me right. I did indeed say horse. Because nothing says I’m covert like I’m riding a horse, does it? Of course, I’ll have glasses as well. Not the reading ones, the drinking ones because you never know when you’re going to get thirsty on your horse on route to the bad guys lair. The lookout at the hideout will be like, “Nope, nothing apart from a dude on a horse drinking scotch from a shot glass. There’s nothing strange about that at all.”
Well I jest just a little, don’t I? Spies are awesome though, aren’t they? You get to go on missions, shoot dudes, use awesome gadgets and have copious amounts of sex with free women. Or is that just James Bond coming through? Most spy work is in reality quite boring. Taping surveillance on people, raids on dudes that the government doesn’t like. That sort of thing. A bit like private eyes. They are like cops without badges and rules, but they mostly spy on cheating husbands. I would be the kind of private eye, or private dick...hmm, that sounds a bit suspect, doesn’t it? How did the word 'dick' get into the occupation? I honestly don’t think I really want to know. Anyway, I would be the kinda private eye who would find evidence of a cheating husband and then blackmail the husband, get a large ‘keeping quiet fee’ off of him and pick up my check from the woman. I get loads more money and this happy couple returns to their happy little relationship. Hey, who knows, maybe the husband will fly straight after his close encounter with me? I’d be like some kind of cupid.
Anyway, that’s enough rambling on. I have other things to do, places to go, people to see like you and me. Visit the other aspects of the site and see what we have for you, I promise you won’t be disappointed.