Dwarf throwing. We are actually doing this. We just have to find ourselves a dwarf. How hard can that be? I hear that Snow White found seven of them! The ancient art of dwarf throwing consists of picking up a small person and throwing them as far as you can. I can’t say for certain but this feels like a sport that might’ve originated in Scotland. This feels like a Scottish thing to do. I have heard that the dwarves in question actually enjoy being tossed like a football. Maybe these fellows have been chucked so many times they have developed brain damage. I can’t for the life of me understand why you would allow some great big, sweaty giant of a man to pick you up and hurl you through the air - and do this for sport! If it were for the good of the human race, maybe. I can imagine the American president asking a dwarf to be thrown a few metres in the air ‘for the good of the nation.’ Yeah, I can see this happening. America is that kind of place, isn’t it? What would be really cool is if they would attach ‘Dwarf Cam’ to the dwarf so we can see and hear what he hears and sees as he’s flying through the air. That would be awesome.
I wonder how you start out in this business. I mean, dwarves are short people and there aren’t a lot of jobs they can do well because of their height. I’m sure I’ll get a few dwarves replying with plenty of anger, and that’s cool. I upset many people in my line of work, so what’s a few midget’s added to the line up?
I suppose when you’re so small you get the idea that getting thrown by a behemoth might be a good career prospect. As long as you can wear the pain. It’s not the throwing that concerns me, it’s the falling that I’m worried about!
But dwarf throwing seems to be a much more entertaining sport than that other famous Scottish pastime; log throwing. Are you serious? Throwing logs is actually a sport? At least with the midgets, you get to watch these little guys fly through the air and then fall through the air. Logs are just pieces of wood. Why the hell would I take time out of my busy schedule to watch a couple of behemoths throw wood? There are wood jokes there, and I can hear Duckman’s voice tempting me to say them, but I won’t. There is no need. There is nothing funny about a Scotsman and his wood. In fact, it’s actually quite scary. Being half Scottish, these are my people...well, sort of. The Weasel is out there on his own. Nobody is like me and for good reason. The Weasel is epically transcendent. Did that sound as cool as I wanted to make it sound? I hope so. If nothing else, I want to sound cool on here. I don’t want you guys to think that I’m a loser. That would really suck.
Well, I think that will do for now. There is very little more I could say about the dwarves and the Scotsmen. Sounds like the beginning of a porno. A very, very, very bad porno, I might add! You all are probably a little angry that I actually gave you that image, but the Weasel is generous, and what I have, I give to the masses.
Wow, now I feel just a little bit filthy, I have to say. Time to shower off and clean myself up. I assure you that the next blog will be more family friendly. Well, maybe.
Check out the page, check out Duckman’s own blogs, they are rad. Yes, I’m bringing the word rad back, and that is totally rad.
I’m off to find myself a midget. I think you can guess what I’m going to do.
I wonder how you start out in this business. I mean, dwarves are short people and there aren’t a lot of jobs they can do well because of their height. I’m sure I’ll get a few dwarves replying with plenty of anger, and that’s cool. I upset many people in my line of work, so what’s a few midget’s added to the line up?
I suppose when you’re so small you get the idea that getting thrown by a behemoth might be a good career prospect. As long as you can wear the pain. It’s not the throwing that concerns me, it’s the falling that I’m worried about!
But dwarf throwing seems to be a much more entertaining sport than that other famous Scottish pastime; log throwing. Are you serious? Throwing logs is actually a sport? At least with the midgets, you get to watch these little guys fly through the air and then fall through the air. Logs are just pieces of wood. Why the hell would I take time out of my busy schedule to watch a couple of behemoths throw wood? There are wood jokes there, and I can hear Duckman’s voice tempting me to say them, but I won’t. There is no need. There is nothing funny about a Scotsman and his wood. In fact, it’s actually quite scary. Being half Scottish, these are my people...well, sort of. The Weasel is out there on his own. Nobody is like me and for good reason. The Weasel is epically transcendent. Did that sound as cool as I wanted to make it sound? I hope so. If nothing else, I want to sound cool on here. I don’t want you guys to think that I’m a loser. That would really suck.
Well, I think that will do for now. There is very little more I could say about the dwarves and the Scotsmen. Sounds like the beginning of a porno. A very, very, very bad porno, I might add! You all are probably a little angry that I actually gave you that image, but the Weasel is generous, and what I have, I give to the masses.
Wow, now I feel just a little bit filthy, I have to say. Time to shower off and clean myself up. I assure you that the next blog will be more family friendly. Well, maybe.
Check out the page, check out Duckman’s own blogs, they are rad. Yes, I’m bringing the word rad back, and that is totally rad.
I’m off to find myself a midget. I think you can guess what I’m going to do.