But I’ll have my GARDEN hose out watering my plants as you do when you get to a certain age. The old guy living next door to me seems to always be doing something in the yard. Nothing crass, actual garden work! Anyway, some kids will come by on their skateboards or roller skates or whatever they have by that point. I would like to think we’ll have hover boards by that time, but it seems more important to send super expensive robots to mars to do analysis of the damn soil. I would think that inventing hover boards for the teenagers would be a higher priority. Anyway, they’ll come by and I’ll be the old guy who squirts them with his hose. Erm, once again I mean GARDEN hose! What’s the worst they can do? They won’t hit some senile old codger squirting water from his garden hose! Unless they are the kind of kids from the "Mad Max" movies. In that case, I will be one old guy in a world of trouble. Most likely they will verbally abuse me and ride off, peeved, but unable to do much about it. I suppose if I did it enough, people would cease to walk past my place and that works as well. I could get a dog to go with the hose. Maybe a dog that barks at everything! That would be cool. I could sit on my porch with iced tea. Yes, that’s what I’ll be drinking as a geriatric. I hate the stuff now, but later in life I’ll love me some iced tea, poured out of a pitcher. I’ll have my trusty shotgun ready to intimidate the locals. It will be a nice old age. Of course, I’ll have nothing to do with other old people because old people annoy me. If I have anyone here who is old, then I apologize profusely, but it’s true. I have no time for the old. You have old men who are stuck in their ways. Dinner at a certain time, routines that cannot be changed, and the worst thing of all, they are always up at the crack of dawn! How I hate that! And they go to be super early after listening to talk back on the radio. They listen to other old people call up the radio station and complain about the things they hate! OMG!
I wasn’t intending to get on the old dude bandwagon, but once I got up there and discovered how comfortable it was, I decided to settle in for a bit, like sitting in a lazy boy with a good book, a roaring fire and a thunderstorm raging outside.
Well, this is going to be a short one, I have to say. I have something else I want to say, but I’ll keep it for another day. I’m patient in that way folks. I hope you enjoyed my rant on old people. It’s not for everyone, but hopefully it’s for you. Check out the site and don’t forget to check out Duckman’s blogs. They are quite simply awesome! You’ll find there’s a sizeable difference to what he and I write about. Something for everyone, you might say.
Still working on the stories. Hopefully a new one about medieval crime will be up by the time this gets released (consider it done!). I certainly hope so. This weekend I’m getting busy, but in a non-sexual way!
I’m going to love you and leave you now. Have a great morning, noon, day or night!